Brad Moore At War

Just for mindless entertainment’s sake, we at BM@W (including my phone and myself) now present a selected list of custom T9WORD dictionary entries taken from 3 faithful years in Nebraska and New Zealand:

backatcha (Got me there.)
beehive
ceroc (Because “country” and “swing” are both entirely too normal.)
aite
AKL (But WLG is curiously absent…)
blogging
dulces  (As in los pollos.)
coriander (You mean cilantro?)
coulda
Courtenay (As in the Place.)
BOXI  (As in yet another business intelligence acronym.)
bros
burrito
Oso (Hello Lincoln.)
curry
Daawat (Hello Wellington.)
dastardly
fellas
FH  (Wow, I miss it.)
Dixieland (Music.)
flamenco  (More music.)
flatties  (Roomies.)
roomies  (Flatties.)
djembe  (Did I mention music?)
salsa
seeya
fjordlands  (Representing a slew of English-name places in NZ.)
Karori  (Representing a slew of Maori-name places in NZ.)
Salamanca (Ditto.)
shucks
skool
FTW  (Now I sound like a geek.)
haecceity  (Now I sound like a philosopher.)
hefeweizen
lemme
gnarly  (Now I sound like a surfer.)
howdy  (Now I sound like a Midwesterner.)
LOTR
martini
naught
Nebraska
negligible
niiice
milady (Now I sound like a knight.)
ninja
mojitos  (Now I REALLY sound like an alcoholic.)
noxiously
Skype (Hello other side of the world.)
snubbing
yeahTHATSright  (YeahTHATSright.)

I think the lesson to take away here is that if you want to write like Brad Moore, you need to do several things:

1. Borrow a lot of slang from a lot of places.
2. Write that slang exactly how you would say it (in a strange sounding, mumbled, kind-of-Midwestern accent.)
3. Intersperse aforementioned onomatopoeia with big words like “intersperse”, and “aforementioned”, and “onomatopoeia”.
4. Talk about music and eating things and going places.  And apparently drinking lots of beautiful stuff.
5. Throw in some catch phrases FTW.  Boom, baby.  YeahTHATSright.

But of course you don’t really want to write like me anyway.  Honestly, I spent most of college journalling every day of my life… in addition to churning out papers for Business and Philosophy classes.  You shoulda seen my spellchecker after that.